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A PRODIGAL SON 



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THE IHAZONS ^^^^ ^ Three Acts. Seven males, five femaies. 
CcMStumes, mcMiern ; scenery, not diffioult, Playa 
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THE CABINET MINISTER ^ceJ^Fo^^^cts- Tenmales,mne 
females. Costumes, modem society; 
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DANDT DICK ^'^^^ ^ Three ActSc Seven males, four females. 
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THE fiAY LORD ODEX ^^o^e^y^^^o^^cts- Four males, ten 
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HIS HOUSE IN ORDER comedy in Four Acts. Nine males, foTir 
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THE HOBBY HORSE ^®°^®**y ^ Three Acts. Ten males, five 
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IRIS I^'*"^**^ Five Acts, Seven males, seven females. Costumes, 
modem ; scenery, three interiorSo Plays a full evening. 

LADT BODNTItVL ^^^ ^ ^^^ ^^^^' ^^^* males, seven fe- 
males. Costumes, modern ; scenery, four In- 
teriors, not easy. Plays a full evening. 

LETTY ■^'^*""* ^ 'Eova Acts and an Epilogue. Ten males, five fe- 
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Is 



A Prodigal Son 



A Comedy in One Act 



By 
RAYMOND M. ROBINSON 

Author of '* A Thief in the House" ♦' Fooling 
Father y etc. 



BOSTON 
WALTER H. BAKER & CO. 
1912 



A Prodigal Son 



^1 lfl.Lt 



CHARACTERS 



The Wanderer, m other words a tramp. 
Ezra Lawless, a lawyer. 
Caroline Berkeley, widow of Josiah Berkeley. 
Henrietta Stone, her elder sister. 
Emeline Stone, her younger sister. 




Copyright, 191 2, by Walter H. Baker & Co. 



€CI.D- 28730 



A Prodigal Son 



SCENE. — The dining-room in Mrs. Berkeley's suburban 
home. A door at the back, C, opening on to the piazza ; a 
window at the left of it. At the left of the stage is another 
window. Both windows are open. At n. are two doors ; 
one, near the back wall, opens into a china closet ; the other 
opens into an adjoining room. The essential furniture co7i- 
sists of a dining table, R. c, covered with a cloth which 
hangs nearly to the floor ; a large clock in the upper left 
hand corner of the room, and several chairs. A portrait 
of the late Josiah Berkeley hangs on the. wall, l. Side- 
board, L. 

Enter Henrietta Stone, c, with a basket of fruit. She sets 
the basket on the table and goes to the closet, searches for 
a moment, then turns and calls to her sister. 

Hen. Caroline ! 

Caroline Berkeley (outside v..). Yes? 

Hen. Where's the cut glass fruit bowl ? 

Car. The cut glass fruit bowl ? 

Hen. The one with the scalloped edges. 

Car. Isn't it there ? 

Hen. No. I wouldn't ask if it was. 

Car. Didn't you have it last night? 

Hen. You washed it this morning. What did you do 
with it ? 

Car. {entering from r., wiping her hands on a towel^. I 
don't remember — why, there it is on the sideboard. (Hen. 
goes to the sideboard and brings the bowl to the table and be- 
gins to arrange the fruit in it.) It's funny you didn't see it 
there. 

Hen. (grimly). Very funny, indeed. 

Car. Henrietta, I wish you'd consult an occulist. 



4 A PRODIGAL SON 

Hen. What for ? 

Car. I think you really ought to be wearing glasses. 

Hen. I don't need glasses. 

Car. How do you know you don't? 

Hen. How do I know anything ? What time is it ? 

Car. (^glancing at the clock). Twenty-five minutes to six. 
If you can't see the clock from where you are 

Hen. Did you ever see better apples out of this garden ? 

Car. Henrietta, you must have your eyes 

Hen. {holding out an apple). Look at that one ! This is 
still bigger. 

Car. {giving up the argument). Yes, they're beauties. If 
Josiah could see them how he would enjoy them. 

Hen. Josiah would enjoy anything he could sink his teeth 
into. 

Car. He was always a good husband to me. 

Hen. You've no reason to suppose that he was a good hus- 
band to any other woman, I hope. 

Car. Henrietta ! 

Hen. Don't Henrietta me so much. You make me nervous. 

Car. I've always been grateful that he provided for me so 
thoughtfully while he lived. 

Hen. You ought to be grateful that he left you so well fixed 
when he died. 

Car, I am. Twenty-five thousand dollars 

Hen. Twenty-five thousand isn't a fortune. 

Car. But it's enough for us to live on comfortably the rest 
of our days. 

Hen. I dare say. 

Car. And it always makes me so proud to think that he 
earned every penny of it himself, — earned it honestly. 

Hen. Making linen collars out of cotton cloth. 

Car. Henriet 

Hen. I suppose that's better than if he made it selling rum. 

Car. And if he was — er — eccentric in some ways 

Hen. Eccentric ! Eccentric's no word for it ! Crazy, I 
call it. There's no other excuse for his making such a provision 
^n his will. 

Car. You mean 

Hen. Yes, that's just what I mean. There was no excuse, 
anyway, for rakinj^: up a stepbrother he hadn't seen for fifteen 
years, and a black sheep at that ; but when he willed him five 
thousand collars — collars — — ! 



A PRODIGAL SON 5 

Car. Provided he appeared within a year and claimed the 
legacy. 

Hen. As if he'd show up after fifteen — yes, sixteen years ! 
By the way, it was just a year ago to-day that Josiah died, 
wasn't it ? 

Car. Yes. 

Hen. I'hen if Bartholomew O'Neil Burridge doesn't walk 
in to-day and claim his five thousand collars he'd better stay 
away altogether. 

Car. It seems, really, as if I'd like to see him. 

Hen. Well, I don't want to see him ! 

Enter Emeline Stone, c. 

Em. What do you think ! I've got some wonderful news ! 

Hen. Indeed ! How exciting ! 

Em. Ahce has three babies ! 

Hen. Ahce ! 

Em. And in the funniest place ! 

Hen. Emeline, what nonsense ! 

Em. In the box stall ; and one's all black, and one's most 
all white, and the third's half and half with three white feet. 

Hen. Cats! Why didn't you say so? 

Em. I said Alice. 

Hen. Alice ! I thought you meant the minister's wife. 

Car. And we have three cats already. What shall we do 
with them ? 

Hen. Drown 'em ! 

Em. Drown those dear little things ! 

Hen. Little nuisances ! They'll scratch up my whole 
garden. 

Em. No, they won't. 

Hen, {decisively). We'll drown 'em anyway. 

Em. 1 don't see how you can be such a heartless Oh I 

(She shrieks in terror as she catches sight of the tramp who 
looks in the window l.) 

Car. Emeline ! 

Hen. What's the matter with you ? 

(Em. can only point to the window. The Wanderer 
disappears.) 

Car. What on earth ~ 



6 A PRODIGAL SON 

Hen. For heaven's sake, what do you see? 
Em. There in the window. 

Hen. {going to the window). There's no one there. 
Em. But there was. A man looked in. 
Car. a man ? 

Em. a horrid face — a tramp ! 

Hen. {looking out again). Nonsense, there's no one in 
sight. 

Em. But I saw him — a great big ugly fellow. 
Hen. You're always seeing things. 
Em. But sister ■ Oh ! 

{She shrieks again as the Wand, appears at the window at 
the back. He disappears as the others turn around,) 

Car. Why, Emeline 



Em. {hysterically). He was there again. At that window. 

Hen. {goifig to the window). I don't see anybody. 

Car. But she must have seen something, Henrietta. 

Hen. I don't believe it. {She leans out the window, her two 
sisters standing beside her. The Wand, enters the door and 
stands watching them in silence. He is a burly tramp, in old 
clothes and battered felt hat. He is a man of middle age, with 
a round, red, fat face and about ten days^ growth of beard. 
His weight is obviously iv ell over two hundred.) There ain't 
a soul in sight. 

{She turns to find herself face to face with the tramp. For 
a moment she stands speechless with fright. The two 
other women cling desperately to each other.) 

Wand. Hello, girls. (Yi^-^. tries in vain to speak.) Ain't 
it customary to ask a gentleman to sit down when he calls ? 
H'm? Thank ye, ma'am. 

{He draws up a chair and sits down, depositi?ig his hat on 
the floor.) 

Em. {crying). 0-oh ! What can we do ? 

Hen. Shut up ! 

Wand. Yes, don't cry, please. The sight of tears always 
makes me feel awful bad. I'm naturally very tender-hearted. 
I wouldn't drown a kitten for a hundred dollars. 

Hen. What do you want ? 



A PRODIGAL SON 7 

Wand. Me?. Well, I'd kinder like a seventy-hoss power 
monoplane, but I'd be grateful' for a piece of pie. 

Hen. You won't get either here. 

Wand. Ail right. 1 ain't fussy. Anything you happen to 
have in the house. 

Em. Perhaps he's hungry. 

Wand. Hungry, ma'am ? I'm starved ! Don't I look it ? 

Hen. I should think so. How much do you weigh ? 

Wand. A hundred and eighteen last birthday. 

Hen. Nearer three hundred and eighteen, if appearances 
count for anything. 

Wand. You do me an injustice. Remember you may lose 
your good looks by the time you're twenty-nine. 

Em. {to Car.). I wish he'd go. 

Wand. There, there, little girl, don't be afraid of me. I'm 
as harmless as a hop-toad in January. All I want is something 
to eat. 

Car. I'm going to get him some doughnuts. \Exity r. 

Wand. Thank ye, kindly. Them are fine-tasting apples, 
lady. {Indicates apples on the table.) 

Hen. How do you know ? 

Wand. I sampled one out in the yard. 

Hen. I'd like to know where the dog was ? 

Wand. The dog did start for me, but I throwed a bowlder 
at him and he went flying down the road hell-bent for — ex- 
cuse me, ma'am — running like time. 

(Car. returns with a plate of doughnuts and cheese and a 
napkin.) 

Car.- Would you like this ? 

Wand. I sure would. {With his mouth full.) I ain't 
been eatin' much lately. You might not believe it, but I've 
lost thirty pounds in the last four weeks. 

Hen. May I ask the cause of this loss of flesh ? 

Wand. Worry, ma'am, worry and business cares. 

Hen. Business ! What is your business? 

Wand. I'm a travellin' man. I've had a lot of experience 
in my time. I could a harrowin' tale unfold. 

Hen. Well, don't unfold it here. 

Wand. No, I won't unfold nothin' more'n a napkin. 
{Tucks the napkin under his chin.) Them are fine doughnuts, 
ma'am. 



8 A PRODIGAL SON 

Car. Thank you. 

Hen. I should think that a big, strong man like you would 
be ashamed to go around begging from door to door. 

Wand. I am. I'm mortal ashamed. But what's a feller 
to do when he's in hard luck temporarily ? 

Hen. 'Tain't hard luck that's the matter with you : it's 
downright laziness ! 

Em. Oh, do be careful, Henrietta. 

Hen. Humph ! I'm not afraid of him. 

Wand, No, there don't nobody seem to be afraid of me. 

Hen. I don't believe you ever did a stroke of work in your 
life. 

{The Wand, rolls up his sleeve and displays a tattoo mark 
on his arm.") 

Wand. See that? I was a seafarin' man, I was. But I 
lost my job. I was cook on a pirate ship for six months until 
one day 1 put salt in the sugar bowl by mistake. The crew 
chucked me overboard, but I was fat in them days so I didn't 
sink. I floated ashore and nigh starved to death before I found 
my way to a human settlement. 

Car. He doesn't look like a pirate. 

Em. Oh, I don't know, Caroline. Look at his eyes ! 

Wand. Another time I had a responsible position in Wy- 
oming, but the work was too exactin' and I had to resign on 
account of my health. 

Hen. What was the nature of your work ? 

Wand. Private secretary to an Indian chief. 

Hen. Huh ! 

Wand. And another time 

Hen. Do you entertain everybody you meet with these 
stories ? 

Wand. No, only them that feed me. But once in a while, 
when I find a sympathetic listener like you 

Hen. No matter about that. If you're through eating 
don't let us detain you any longer. 

Wand. I'm grateful to you for your kindness, ladies. 

{He wipes his mouth on the napkin^ then carefully folds it 
up and puts it in his hip pocket, ") 

Hen. You can leave the napkin. 

Wand. That's just like me. Force of habit. Thought 



A PRODIGAL SON 9 

*twas a handkerchief. {He puts the napkin on the table.') 
Weil, on your way, Bart. 

{He fills his pockets with apples from the table.') 

Hen. Were you invited to help yourself to those apples ? 

Wand. The Lord helps them that helps themselves. 

Car. Let him have them, Henrietta. 

Em. Yes, let him have them. 

Wand. I appreciate them words. I sure do. Some time 
p'raps I'll be able to do you a service. I hope you won't 
never be in my shoes, but if you are call on old Bart and he'll 
help you if he can. Well, so long. 

{At the door he pauses and looks around the room casually. 
Suddenly he catches si^ht of the portrait on the wall. He 
walks across the room and examines the picture carefully 
for a moment in silence. ) 

Hen. {sharply). Well? 

Wand. Who is that ? 

Hen. What's that to you ? 

Wand. Who is that ? 

Car. That was my husband. 

Wand. Was ? 

Car. He died a year ago. 

Wand. What was his name? 

Car. Josiah Berkeley. 

Wand. I thought so. 

Hen. What are you talking about? 

Wand. I thought so. 

Em. {nervously). What does he mean ? 

Car. Did you know him ? 

Wand. Once. 

Car. Did you know him very well? 

Wand. Fairly well. It's fifteen years since I heard from 
him last. Nearer twenty since I saw him. 

Car. Was he a friend of yours? 

Hen. Caroline ! 

Wand. A friend? A tramp ain't got any friends. 

Car. But you weren't always a — a 

Wand. A tramp? No, I was half-way decent once. But 
my father married a widow with a family of her own, and I — I 
didn't seem to fit in anywhere, so I got out. Went west, tried 



10 A PRODIGAL SON 

my luck at various things, made a little money and lost it. 
Got mixed up in a lot of adventures that don't need telling, 
got sick, run up against ail the hard luck west of Buffalo and — 
you see what 1 am now. 

Em. Wouldn't your family help you? 

Wand. 1 didn't ask 'em to. 

Car. Did you live in this town when Mr. Berkeley was 
young? 

Wand. Yes, I knew him when he was a boy. 

Em. Caroline, why don't you show him the picture you 
found ? 

Car. I believe I will. 

Hen. Caroline, don't be foolish. 

(Car. goes to the closet.) 

Em. It's an old daguerreotype that my sister found a while 
ago among some of Mr. Berkeley's papers. 

Car. This was the first wife of Josiah's stepfather. {She 
gives the picture to the Wand, who takes it with some agitation 
and examines it carefully.') Her name was Stowe before she 
was married. 

Wand. Mary Stowe ? 

Car. You knew her? 

Wand. I knew her — very well. {He looks at the picture 
in silencefor some time. Then he makes a slight gesture as if 
to put it in his pocket, but quickly recovers his composure and 
returns it to Car.) I thank you very much. 

{At the door he pauses to watch Car. as she replaces the 
photograph in the closet. Then he goes out through the 
open door c.) 

Hen. Isn't there something else you could have done to 
entertain him ? Why didn't you ask him to stay to supper ? 
Why didn't you take him in the sitting-room while you were 
about it ? Are you going to give receptions like that to all the 
tramps that come around here begging ? 

Car. He's gone now, Henrietta. 

Hen. I should hope so. 

{She slams the door c, then goes out r.) 

Em. Henrietta has a sharp tongue. 
Car. Sometimes I am led to think so. 



A PRODIGAL SON II 

Em. I think after all she was a little afraid of him. 

Car. I don't believe Henrietta is afraid of anything. 

Em. But wasn't it strange that he should have known 
Josiah ? 

Car. Well, he said he lived here when he was a boy. 

Em. That's so. [T/ie two go out k. 

{The Wand, looks in at the window again. Then he opens 
the door stealthily and enters. He goes directly to the 
closet f searches for a moment and returns with the minia- 
ture. For an instant he looks at it, then slips it in his 
pocket. He makes a quick survey of the room, comes 
down R. and glances into the adjoining room. As he does 
so Ezra Lawless is seen outside c. approaching the door. 
At the sound of his step, the Wand, wheels, starts toward 
the door, and stops, finding his escape cut off. The bell 
rings.) 

Hen. (outside -r.). That's the door-bell; I'll go. {The 
Wand, dives into the closet pulling the door to, but in doing 
so, knocks a pile of pots and pans onto the floor with a crash. 
He bursts out of the closet and rushes for the window on the 
opposite side of the room. Before he is able to reach it. Hen. 
enters. The Wand, drops to his hands and knees so the din- 
ing table conceals him. Hen. goes to the closet.') Who left 
those pans so they'd fall off onto the floor? 

Car. {outside). You put them away yourself, Henrietta. 

Hen. I never left 'em like that. 

{She picks them up and puts them back on the shelves. The 
do or -be II rings again. She shuts the closet door and turns 
to door c. The tramp circles about, still on his hands 
and knees, keeping the table between him and Hen.) 

Car. {outside). Aren't you going to the door? 

{The Wand, dives under the table where he is concealed by 
the overhanging cloth. Car. enters R. ) 

Hen. Who left that door open ? I shut it. 

Car. I'm sure I don't know. 

Hen. It's very funny ! {At the door.) Oh, it's you, Mr. 
Lawless. Good-afternoon. 



IZ A PRODIGAL SON 

£nfer Law., a little gray -haired man in black coat and silk 
hat. 

Law. Good-afternoon, Miss Stone. Good-afternoon, Mis* 
Berkeley. 

Car. How do you do, Mr. Lawless ? 
Hen. {calling at r.). Emeline ! 
Law. I'his is a beautiful day, 
Em. (entering). Mr. Lawless ! 
Law. Good -afternoon, Miss Stone. 
Car. Let me take your hat. 
Law. No, no, I'll leave it right here. 

(He puts it on the dining table. Hen. promptly picks it up 
and deposits it on a chair near the window L. /// doing 
so she steps on the VI a^t>.^s finger. He stifles a cry and 
withdraws still farther under the table.) 

Hen. What did I step on there ? 

Car. One of Emeline's kittens probably. They're always 
under the table. 

Hen. Then they'd better keep away. Shoo ! 

(She stamps on the floor and shakes the table-cloth.) 

Em. (reproachfully). Don't, Henrietta! You'll frighten 
the poor thing ! Come, Beauty ! 

Law. Well, ladies 

Car. Won't you sit down, Mr. Lawless? 

Law. Thank you, thank you. (Law. refnoves his hat from 
the chair and places it on the floor. He sits down, llie 
women seat themselves on the opposite side of the room.) 
Well, ladies 

Em. Don't you feel the draft there, Mr. Lawless ? 

Law. Thank you, thank you. (Moves his chair and hat?) 
Well, ladies 

Car, Won't you find the other chair more comfortable, 
Mr. Lawless? 

Law. Thank you, thank you. 

Hen. For heaven's sake, let him talk. 

Law. Thank you, thank you. Well, ladies, it will take 
me only a few minutes to complete my errand. It is needless 
to remind you that this is the anniversary of the decease of my 
friend and your husband — Mrs. Berkeley's husband, I mean 
—the late Josiah Berkeley. You will remember the terms of 



A PRODIGAL SON I3 

the will as I read them to you. It will be unnecessary for me 
to read them again. Suffice it to state that beyond a few 
directions as to the settlement of the aftairs of the Berkeley 
Brand Collar Company, manufacturers of high grade water- 
proof collars and cuffs, there was but one bequest, the re- 
mainder of the estate passing to the widow. You will recall 
that the amount in question was to go to Bartholomew O'Neil 
Burridge — {the Wand, peers out from beneath the table-cloth, 
his face wearing an expression of astonishment and in- 
credulity) stepbrother of the deceased, whereabouts un- 
known, provided he appeared to claim the — er — legacy within 
one year of the death of said Josiah Berkeley. To-day being 
the anniversary of the death of Josiah Berkeley, as I before 
remarked, the year ends on this date — to be precise, at just 
six o'clock. If said Bartholomew O'Neil Burridge does not 
appear on or before that hour to prove his identity and to 
lay claim to his — h'm — fortune — (the Wand, starts as if to 
crawl out from his hiding place) then, according to the terms 
of the will, the bequest goes to the New England Refuge for 
Abandoned Dogs. 

Hen. Crazy to the end, wasn't he ? 

Car. Henrietta ! 

Law. It is needless to ask if you ladies have heard any 
word of Bartholomew O'Neil Burridge during the year past ? 
Of course not. It is totally unlikely that any of us will ever 
see him again. 

Hen. I hope not, anyway. 

Car. Oh, Henrietta ! 

Hen. Stop Henriettarin' me ! I say 'twas good riddance 
to bad rubbish when he left town. He was a black sheep and 
a wild, worthless villain anyway, no credit to himself or his 
family, and I for one ain't anxious to set eyes on him again. 

Lav/. He may have been an — h'm^-an undesirable, but 
the will does not take that into consideration. But however 
that may be, Bartholomew is not here, nor will he be, for it is 
my candid opinion that he died years ago — rest his soul. 

{The Wand.'s excitement increases.') 

Em. Oh, it can't be. I believe that if he knew the legacy 
awaited him he would appear. 

Car. How would we know him after so many years ? He 
must have changed. 



14 A PRODIGAL SON 

Law. That would be easy. I think I would recognize 
him at once, if only by the funny expression in his left eye. 
His face was always kind of one sided, like a summer squash. 
But the conclusive proof of his identity would be the crab on 
his right arm ! 

Hen. a crab on his arm ! 

Em. a crab ! A live one ? 

Law. a crab — tattooed in red ink just above the wrist. 

{The position of the Wand., his sleeve pulled well upy makes 
the tattoo mark plainly visible. ) 

Em. Oh, how funny ! 

Hen. How disgusting ! 

Law. I believe he had it done when a boy. 

Hen. Crab or no crab, I don't believe Bartholomew is 
going to walk into this house inside of 

Em. {glancing at the clock). Inside of three minutes. 

Car. Three minutes? 

Law. {looking at his watcJi). Inside of three minutes and 
six seconds. 

{The Wand, nervously fumbles in his own empty watch 
pocket. ) 

Hen. I don't see the sense of wasting three minutes in 
waiting for him. Let's get this settled. 
Law. If he wants the five thousand — — 
Em. Just think ! Five thousand 



Car. Five thousand is considerable 



{The Wand., unable to restrain himself longer ^ is about to 
crawl out.) 

Hen. Five thousand what ? Five thousand collars ! 

( 7^he Wand, pauses ^ a look of blank bewilderment on his 
face.) 

Law. That was the bequest. " To my stepbrother, 
Bartholomew O'Neil Burridge, if he be found within one year 
from the time of my death, I give and bequeath five thousand 
collars." 

{The Wand., as if dazed, puts his hand to his own collar - 
less neck.) 



A PRODIGAL SON 1 5 

Hen. {disgustedly). Collars ! 

Law. If, however, said Bartholomew O'Neil Burridge does 
not appear 

Hen. In about one minute. 

Law. In about one minute, then the bequest goes to the 
New England Refuge for Abandoned Dogs. 

{The expression on the Wai^b.'s face becomes one of indig- 
nation.^ 

Hen. Dog collars ! {Pause.) Well, how long are you 
going to wait ? Do you expect him to appear now ? 

{The Wand, sits down on the floor ^ his lips shut reso- 
lutely.) 

Car. Of course not. 

Em. No, of course not. 

Law. {rising, watch in hand). Bartholomew O'Neil Bui- 
ridge, stepbrother of Josiah Berkeley, I call upon you to come 
before me at this — er, minute — to lay claim to this — h'm — be- 
quest, or forever keep silent — er — on that subject. {The Wand., 
still indignant^ keeps rigidly still.) Twenty seconds more — 
ten seconds more — five seconds more — Bartholomew, come and 
collect your five thousand collars. 

Wand, {unnoticed.) Damned if I will ! 

Law. {replacing his tvatch in his pocket). Time's up ! 

Car. Time's up. 

Law. My mission here being executed, I will take my de- 
parture at once, ladies. I will attend to the necessary papers. 
You need have no further care in regard to the matter, I assure 
you. {Picks up his hat.) I wonder if I might have a glass of 
water before I go ? 

Car. Certainly. {Starts out r.) 

Em. No, no, I will get it. Let me. {Both go out v.. 

Law. My throat is as dry as a finnan haddie. {He follows 
them out, leaving his hat on the table. Hen. walks to door 
C, and steps outside. As soon as she is gone the Wand, crawls 
out, looks round, and goes to the door. Finding her there he 
turns back. He catches sight of the silk hat on the table and 
tries it on. He is about to replace it when, moved by an ivi- 
pulse, for a joke he places it on the floor under the table. 
Law., outside.) Thank you, thank you; that was a beautiful 
drink. 



l6 A PRODIGAL SON 

(A/ the sound of the voice the Wand, hastily takes the only 
available means of escape and climbs through the wifidow 
L. In doing so his owti hat drops to the floor.') 

Reenter Law., and the three sisters. 

Car. Call on us again, won't you, Mr. Lawless ? 

Em. Yes, do. 

Law. Thank you, thank you. {He pulls out his handker- 
chief to wipe his mouth. A letter drops to the floor. Em. 
picks it up for him.) My goodness, I had forgotten that letter 
entirely. A special delivery that was handed me just as I 
started for your house. Will you pardon me if I read it? 
From my stenographer. "In looking over the papers of your 
late partner, Mr. Wormwood, I have just discovered the sten- 
ographer's notes concerning the will of Josiah Berkeley, also 
the original copy of the v/ill. In comparing them with your 
typewritten sheets of the will I find an error in copying. The 
line in the copy which now reads * to my stepbrother, Barthol- 
omew O'Neil Burridge — etc. — etc. — five thousand collars' — in 
the original reads 'five thousand dollars.' " 

Hen. Dollars ! 

Car. Five thousand dollars ! 

Em. O-o-oh ! 

Law. Dollars ! A strange mistake ! A careless one ! 
The typewriter struck the C key instead of the D — a mistake 
of a single letter. 

Em. And Uncle Bartholomew would really have gotten five 
thousand dollars ? 

Hen. Well, what's the odds now? What do we care 
whether it's dollars or collars? We don't get any of it, any- 
way. 

Law. No, it's all the same to you, but so much the better 
for the New England Refuge for Abandoned Dogs. 

Hen. Five thousand dollars going to the dogs ! 

Law. Well, I'll rectify the error. I must be going. Where 
did I leave my hat? {They all search the room. 1-,kv7 . fi?ids 
the Wand.'s old hat.) What — what's this ? Did I wear that ? 
{He tries it on and hastily takes it ofl^ again.) No, no ! that 
can't be mine ! 

Car. The tramp must have left it. 

Law. Tramp ? 

Car. There was a tramp here. We gave him a lunch. 

Em. And he forgot his hat, poor man. 



A PRODIGAL SON 1 7 

Law. But where's mine? I can't wear that ! {They take 
up the search again. At length Yi.'E.^. fijids it and gives it to 
him.) Thank you, thank you. But how did it come there? 

Hen. I didn't put it there. 

Law. Nor I. But how 

Car. It probably fell off the table. 

Em. And rolled there. 

Law. {brushifig it on his sleeve). Probably, probably. 
Weli, I'll bid you good-day, ladies. 

Car. Good-bye. 

Em. Good-evening, Mr. Lawless. 

Law. Good-evening, good-evening. [Exit, c. 

Hen. That's setded. 

Car. Yes, that's settled. 

Hen. {indicating the old hat). TJirow that old thing away. 

Em. Why, he might come back for it. 

Hen. Throw it away. Burn it up. 

Em. Henrietta. 

Car. Oh, see, there are initials scratched on the band in 
ink. 

Em. Let me see. B. O. B. Why, how funny ! 

Hen. Funny? 

Em. B. O. B.,— Bartholomew O'Neil Burridge. 

Car. {wonder ingly). Why 

Em. You don't suppose 

Hen. Suppose nothing. Are you foolish ? 

Car. It would be so improbable, 

Em. Of course it's impossible. But just the same, 
B. O. B. 



Hen. B. O. B., huh ! Barney O'Brien ! Don't be a fool 1 

{She picks up the hat and goes out v:.. Em. and Ca'r. look 
at each other for a mofnent.) 

Em. Of course it's impossible. But it's funny, isn't it? 
Car. It's funny, yes. But impossible. 



CURTAIN 



New Plays 



ELMWOOD FOLKS 

A Drama in Three Acts 

By Charles S, Bird 

Author of **At the JunciioHy' etc. 

Eight males, four females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two interiors, 

one exterior. Plays a full evening. An easy and very actable piece with 

an unusually even cast of characters. Clean, wholesome and entertain* 

ing J can be recommended for school performance. 

Price, 2^ cents 

CHARACTERS 
David Bainbridge, editor of the Ebnwood ''Item,** 
James Went worth, an old compositor. 
Squire Alford, a hard inan. 
Dick Alford, his stepson, a young lawyer, 
Whittier Jones, a cotitributor to the " ItemJ'* 
Tommy Gay, David's apprentice. 
Mr. Pinch, an officer. 
A Messenger Boy. 
Mrs. Bainbridge, David's wife. 
Bessie Bainbridge, their daughter. 
Drucilla Jones, Whittier s aunt. 
Mary Gay, Mrs. Bainbridge s maid. Tommy s sister, 

SYNOPSIS 

Act I. — Office of the Elm wood Item. 

Act II. — Lawn beside the Bainbridge home. 

Act III. — Parlor in the same. 

HER UNCLE'S BOOTS 

A Farce in One Act 

By Mrs. Myrtle Barber Carpenter 

-Seven females. Costumes, modern ; scene, an easy interior. Plays 

thirty minutes. An easy and effective little play suitable for Girls' 

Schools or young people in amateur theatricals. Very funny, but with a 

sympathetic thread of interest. Clean and bright. Recommended. 

Price, 15 cents 

AN OUTSIDER 

A College Play for Girls in One Act 

By Wilhemen Wilkes 

Seven females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, an interior. Plays 

thirty-five minutes. An unusually strong and sympathetic little play for 

its length and pretensions, strongly recommended to schools. The story 

turns upon a basket-ball match and is full of interest. 

Price J Jj" cents 



New Farces and Comedies 

HIGBEE OF HARVARD 
A Comedy Drama in Three Acts 

By Charles Townsend 
Five males, four females. Modern costumes ; scenes, two interiors and 
an exterior — the latter may be played as well in an interior, if preferred. 
Plays a full evening. A clever, up-to-date piece, well suited for amateur 
performance. No small parts ; all good. Good plot, full of incident, no 
love-making, interest strong and sustained. 
Friccy i^ cents 

A REGIMENT OF TWO 
A Farcical Comedy in Three Acts 

By Anthony E, Wills 
Six males, four females. Modern costumes. Scene, an interior, the same 
for all three acts. Plays a full evening. A lively, up-to-date farce, easy to 
produce and full of laughs from beginning to end. All the parts good — 
330 small ones. German comedy characters for both male and female, 
and " wild west " character part and English character comedy. Strongly 
recommended. 

Pricey 2^ cents 

THE MISSING MISS MILLER 
A Comedy in Three Acts 

By Harold A, Clarke 
Six males, five females. Scenery, two interiors ; costumes modem. 
Plays a full evening. A bright and up-to-date farce-comedy of the liveliest 
type. All the parts good ; full of opportunity for all hands. Easy to pro- 
duce and strongly recommended. Good tone ; might answer for schools, 
but IS a sure hit for amateur theatricals. Professional stage rights reserved^ 
Pricey 23 cents 

MISS BUZBY'S BOARDERS 

A Comedy in Three Acts 

By Arthur Lewis Tubbs 

Five male, six female characters. Costumes modern ; scenery, two easy 

interiors. Plays two hours. In a lighter vein than this writer's other 

pieces, but just as strong, and offers plenty of comedy. All the parts good j 

four call for strong acting. Several good character parts and effective 

heavy character. Dialogue especially good. A sure hit. 

Frice^ 2$ cemts 



By the Author of "Mr. Bob" 

THE NEW CRUSADE 

A Comedy in Two Acts 
By Rachel Baker Gale 
Twelve females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two interiors. Plays one 
hour and thirty minutes. A very amusing satire of the servant girl ques- 
tion, brimful of telling incidents and effective lines. All the parts are 
good and of nearly equal opportunity, and practically play themselves. 
Well rehearsed, it is a sure success and goes with a scream. Irish, negro 
and Swede character parts and a " tough " girl. Strongly recommended 
for ladies' clubs. Can be played only on payment of a royalty of ^^5.00 
to the author. 

Pricey 2S cents 

CHARACTERS 
Miss Morris, nothing if not businesslike. 

Mrs. Cogswell- Brown, who believes in cooperative housekeeping, 
Mrs. Potter- Hewitt, who looks small, but is not. 
Mrs. Raymond, who advocates ''The New Crusade.'^ 
Mrs. Archibald Tracey, in search of a tnaid and experience. 
Bridgett Mahoney, in search of '' an ould gintleman.'* 
Mary Macguire, who likes ''the theyatre in the winter toime,** 
Augusta Olsen, who comes from "Svedenfor big monay.'* 
Cassie Clay, who never "takes suggestions from anybody,** 
Jennie Burch, who never "has time for afternoon tea." 
Matilda Johnson, who likes " slaughtermobiles and a choffer** 
Merry, the settlement girl — who s always "on de level.'* 

COATS AND PETTICOATS 

A Comedy in One Act 

By Rachel Baker Gale 

One male (played by a woman), seven females, and if desired, sixteen 

girls for chorus. Costumes, modern ; scene, an interior. Plays forty-five 

minutes. A very lively and amusing piece introducing fancy dresses, 

music and dancing. All the parts of about equal opportunity. Irish 

comedy part and two capital " old maids." Very funny and not d;fficult. 

Complete with music for the Sufifragettes' song and march and the Old 

Maids' song and march. Very strongly recommended. 

Price, 2^ cents 

AN EASY MARK 

A Farce in One Act 

By Imiis Gardner Osbom 
Five males, two females. Costumes, modern ; scene, an easy interior. 
Plays thirty-five minutes. A side-splitting farce of college life lively enough 
to suit the most exacting demands. Full of funny incident and telling 
lines. Burlesque actor and " tough " young man parts ; the rest " straight'* 
and all good. Recommended for schools. Frice^ /j cents. 



New Farces 



THE ELOPEMENT OF ELLEN 

A Farce Comedy in Three Acts 

B;^ Marie J, Warren 

Four males, three females. Costumes modem ; scenery, one interior and 

one exterior. Plays an hour and a half. A bright and ingenious little 

piay, admirably suited for amateur actmg. Written for and originally 

produced by Wellesley College girls. Strongly recommended. 

Price, 2^ cents 

TOMMY'S WIFE 

A Farce in Three Acts 

By Marie J, Warren 
Three males, five females. Costumes modern ; scenery, two interiors. 
Plays an hour and a half. Originally produced by students of Wellesley 
College. A very original and entertaining play, distinguished by abun- 
dant humor. An unusually clever piece, strongly recommended. 
Price, 2^ cents 

ALL CHARLEY'S FAULT 

An Original Farce in Two Acts 

B:^ Anthony E, Wilis 
Six males, three females. Scenery, an easy interior ; costumes modern. 
Plays two hours. A very lively and laughable piece, full of action and 
admirably adapted for amateur performance. Dutch and Negro comedy 
characters. Plays very rapidly with lots of incident and not a dull mo- 
ment. Free for amateurs, but professional stage rights are reserved by 
the author. Strongly recommended. 

Price, ij cents 

OUT OF TOWN 

A Comedy in Three Acts 

By Bell Elliot Palmer 
Three males, five females. Scene, an interior, the same for all three 
acts ; costumes modern. Plays an hour and a half. A clever and inter- 
esting comedy, very easy to produce and recommended for amateur per. 
formance. Tone high and atmosphere refined. All the parts good. A 
safe piece for a fastidious audience, as its theme and treatment are alike 
beyond reproach. 

Fries ^ s$ €4nt$ 



New Rural Plays 



VALLEY FARM 
A Drama in Four Acts 

By Arthur Lewis Tubbs 
Six males, six females. Scenery, two interiors and an exterior. Cos« 
tumes modern. This play is powerfully emotional, but is relieved by 
plenty of humor. An admirable play for amateurs, very sympathetic in 
theme, and with lots of good parts. Hetty is a strong lead, and Perry 
Deane and Silas great parts ; while Azariah, Lizy Ann Tucker and Ver- 
bena are full of fun. Plays a full evening. 
Price f 2$ cents 

WILLOWDALE 
A Play in Three Acts 

By Arthur Lewis Tubbs 
Seven males, five females. Scenery, two easy interiors; costumes 
modem. This is a play of exceptional interest and power. Its combina- 
tion of humor and emotional interest makes it almost certain to please any 
audience. Admirably suited for amateur performance, all the parts being 
good. Godfrey is an admirable heavy part, Joel, Lem and Simon capital 
character parts, Mis'^ Hazey a novel eccentric bit, and Oleander a part of 
screaming comedy. Plays two hours and a quarter. 
Price^ 23 cents 

DOWN IN MAINE 

A Drama in Four Acts 

By Charles Townsend 
Eight male, four female characters. This charming play is Mr. 
Townsend's masterpiece. There are no villains, no " heroics," no tangled 
plot nor sentimental love-scenes ; yet the climaxes are strong, the action 
brisk, and the humor genial, and the characters strongly drawn. Can be 
played in any hall ; scenery, of the easiest sort. No shifting during any 
act. Properties, few and simple ; costumes modern. Plays a full evening. 
Strongly recommended. 

Price, 25 cents 

BAR HAVEN 
A Comedy in Three Acts 

By Gordan K May 
Six males, five females. Costumes modern ; scenery, two interiors 
and an exterior, not difficult. Plays two hours. An excellent piece, 
cleverly mingling a strongly serious interest with abundant humor. Offers 
a great variety of good parts of nearly equal opportunity. Admirably 
suited for amateur performance, and strongly recommended. 

Price, 2^ centi 



FEB 17 1912 

New Plays 



THE SAWDUST QUEEN 

A Comedy Drama in Three Acts 

By Dana J. Stevens 

Author of ^^ Plain People,'' ^* Old Acre Folk," etc. 

Six males, five females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two interiors. 

Plays a full evening. A play of circus life, very picturesque and effective 

and not difficult to get up. Unusually rich in character parts and comedy. 

Soubrette lead; ladies' parts especially strong. Can be recommended. 

Free for amateur performance. Price^ 2^ cents, 

CHARACTERS 

Deacon Matthew Sterling. 

Ned Sterling, his son. 

Miss Prudence Prue, l 

Miss Patricia Prossitt, \ three maiden ladies, his cousins* 

Miss Patience Prouty, ) 

Mr. Silas Hankum, his solicitor. 

Adanirum George Washington Hobbes, proprietor of **The 

Great Forever Circus.'* 
TONEY O'Hara, an old clown. 

The Herr Professor, acrobat and flying trapeze man, 
Hulda Schwartz, strong lady and snake charmer. 
Starlight, the sawdust queen. 

SYNOPSIS 

Act I. — Inside the dressing tent of "The Great Forever 
Circus." 

Act II — Three days later. The living room in the Sterling 
homestead. 

Act III. — Several days later. Inside the dressing tent again. 

THE SUMMERVILLE BAZAR 

An Entertainment in One Act 

By Frank Towslee 
Twenty-one males, thirty-one females are called for, but this number 
can be greatly reduced by •« doubling " or by curtailing the length of the 
entertainment. No scenery required ; costumes, modern. Plays about an 
hour with specialties introduced when called for. This is a humorous 
picture of a church sale, depending upon its characters and incidents, 
which are home thrusts in almost any community, for its success. It ends 
with a sale by auction which may be made a real one, if desired, to actu- 
ally end up a fair. This entertainment will serve as an admirable frame 
for a vaudeville entertainment, being designed to introduce songs, dances 
or recitations at mtervals in its action, but may be played wholly without 
them, as a straight entertainment, if it is preferred. Pricey 2j cents* 




One copy del. to Cat. Div. 



^tb i; 1^12 



a, W, ^mero's Hags 

TUP MAfil^TPATF J'arce In Three Acts. Twelve males, Ibur 
I lie 1UAUIJ1I\A11« females. Costumes, modem; scenery, »11 
interior. Plays two hours and a half. 

THE NOTORIOUS MRS. EBBSMITB ^:?"'lJ:,«;;fLX, 

Costumes, modem ; scenery, all interiors PL- ys a tull evening. 

THP PDHPI Ifi A TF ^^y "* ^°^^ -^^^^ >ieven males, five females . 
iUC riiUri4lUAi£f Scenery, three interiors, rather elaborate ; 
costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

THE SCHOOLMISTRESS ^zT,:^^xi':^::^'^::z 

three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

THE SECOND MRS. TANQDERAY ^l^Tu^Z.^^:. 

fcumes, modern ; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

CWFFT I A VFNUFfi Comedy in Three Acts. Seven males, four 
^TTCCi lyAlCl^ULJl feinales. Scene, a single interior; costumes, 
modern. Plays a full evening. 

THF TIIWFS Comedy in Four Acts. Six males, seven females. 
1 UC 1 HUE J Scene, a single interior ; costumes, modern. Plays a 
full evening. 

THF WFAlfFR SFX Comedy in Three Acts. Eight males, eight 
lllC nL<AACA J£A females. Costumes, modem ; scenery, two 
interiors. Plays a full evening. 

A WIFE WITHOUT A SMILE ^^C^L.^^c^.tiT, 

sodem ; scene, a single interior. Plays a full evening. 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 

539altev f • TBafeer & Compant 

Ho. 5 Hamilton Place, BostOQt Massachusetts 



LIBRPRY OF CONGRESS 




017 400 155 8 # 



Cije 5^illtam Wuxm Ctittton 
of Paps 



AS Yftll I WV IT Comedy in Five Acts. Thirteen males, four 
AJ IVU MAJU 11 females. Costumes, picturesque; scenery, va- 
ried. Plays a full evening. 

CAMITTF Drama in Five Acts. Nine males, five females. Cos- 
X^AailLiLili tumes, modern ; scenery, varied. Plays a full evening. 

INtflOMAP I*l^y i^ Five Acts. Thirteen males, three females. 
inUuiiliUV Scenery varied ; costumes, Greek. Plays a full evening. 

MAUY '^TIIAI?T Tragedy in Five Acts. Thirteen males, four fe- 
>iTiiil\l iJiU/iul males, and supernumeraries. Costumes, of the 
^period j scenery, varied and elaborate. Plays a full evening. 

THE MERCHANT OF VENICE SSt&!Smt?2: SSS, 

ipipturesque ; scenery varied. Plays a full evening. 

PirHFT f FIl I*^^y i^ FiYe Acts. Fifteen males, two females. Scen- 
.1\1V111^M1^U ery elaborate ; costumes of the period. Plays a full 
evening. 

THF WSVAT S Comedy in Five Acts. Nine males, five females. 
1 tilt Jil T AL/iJ Scenery varied ; costumes of the period. Plays a 
full evening. 

SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER '^^lo^SSii°%eS^?Z 

ried ; costumes of the period. Plays a full evening. 



Comedy in Five 
Acts. Ten males. 



TWELFTH NIOHT: OR, WHAT YOD WILL 

three females. Costumes, picturesque ; scenery, varied. Plays a 
full evening. 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 

Walttt 1$. iBafeer S, Company 

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



• . J„ PARKHslk 4. CO.„ PRIIsf^CRS. BOSTON. U.S.Ao 



